The Courage to Be Compassionately You
The Awakened Heart: Loving Out Loud
Compassion as a guiding principle and practice is more than just an ethical, moral or spiritual choice; it’s a cornerstone for living an authentic life. An awakened heart is not simply a lofty ideal but a necessity. And it is courage to be compassionate to ourselves that leads to living a fulfilling life.
What do we mean by compassion? Compassion is the heartbeat of a shared humanity, it is the impulse that arises from our empathy of one who is suffering, and the desire and action to mitigate that suffering with care.
Living Authentically Through Compassion
To live our authentic life, we must nurture compassion for ourselves and others, because compassion embraces our inherent worth, where we can honor our present experience to hear and feel the answers from our heart when we ask:
What am I feeling?
What do I need?
What do I want?
What matters to me?
The Necessity of Courage for Authentic Living
Embracing our true self, values and passions, even when they do not align with other’s expectations or “norms” takes courage. And such courage will make space for our self-compassion to acknowledge and accept our needs and desires, ending the sacrifice of our own happiness and fulfillment in order to please others or meet their expectations.
The Hurdles of Societal Constructs
It is necessary to also realize we are not only confronting our internal landscapes. We also have to navigate a world with societal constructs that can stifle our compassion and authenticity. Toxic masculinity, for example, can cause men to hesitate to express vulnerability or empathy openly. Discrimination based on race, gender, orientation or any other basis can silence our compassionate voices. Through awareness of these external challenges we can hope to move through these complex social mazes that often cloud our true selves, and renew our resolve to courageously let compassion guide us to freedom.
Empowerment Through Self-Compassion
Self-compassion empowers us to be and act in ways that are in alignment with our authentic Self because anything less would cause us to suffer. It gives us strength to overcome challenges and setbacks and to persevere in the face of adversity. When we have compassion for ourselves, we recognize and accept our own worthiness and will take steps to protect and nurture our well-being.
This is not always easy. It requires self-examination, and looking within. Caring for our whole self involves us confronting our fears and insecurities, and making choices that may go against the grain. But in doing so, we create a life that is aligned with our true selves, one that brings us joy and fulfillment.
The Nuances Between Love and Compassion
The words “compassion” and “love” are often used interchangeably, and some subtle differences explain why courage is often required to cultivate and practice compassion. Love, as an emotion, can be influenced by the relationship within which that love is expressed. It’s easy to be loving with those we feel love for. And when we aren’t feeling the love, it takes more of an effort to be loving - even with people in our circle - let alone with strangers or enemies.
Compassion, on the other hand, is a mode of being, not dependent on how we feel. It is living with an open heart sensitive to the experiences of others. This is the love that Jesus referred to when he said, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you…Do to others as you would have them do to you.” It is a choice and decision to move through the world this way, not based on emotions but Principle. Courage will keep us on the path.
Facing Our Inner Critics
Each time we reject a part of ourself as unworthy or flawed, we strengthen fear's grip on our hearts. The desire for perfectionism is fueled by fear - fear of facing the messy reality of our humanity.
In the past, I have berated myself for doing something I said I wouldn’t or not doing something I said I would, or some other reason. This self-judgment instead of helping, added pain to what I already felt, at times even leading to shame. But when I would pause to consider how I would respond, if my best friend was in distress, I realize it would be with compassion, not cruelty. I would not be critical, nor belittle them. This realization helps to summon the courage to talk kindly to myself, acknowledge any feelings of disappointment, frustration, anger, regret or guilt, and then to voice love and grace. Self-compassion reverses shame into self-acceptance. We all get lost; we all act unconsciously, and we all deserve love.
The Courage to Bloom
Imagine speaking gently to your inner child when you fail to meet expectations. Tell that vulnerable part of you, "I love you as you are. You are worthy, always." This is the courageous compassion that allows our hearts to bloom and love fully.
By nurturing self-compassion, we ready ourselves to compassionately greet all within our shared humanity. It takes courage to love ourselves enough, and when we do, we will be able to love others enough.
May we all find the courage to be compassionate and live authentically, so the world becomes a mirror of our most loving Self.
Your Turn
Take a moment to reflect on a time you were harsh on yourself. What would you have said to a friend in a similar situation? Write down those compassionate words and then read them back to yourself. Courageously feel the impact of those words with this act of self-compassion.