Gifts Wrapped in Sandpaper
Yesterday was the first day of Lent—a period of reflection and devotion practiced in many Christian churches. This 40-day period runs from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday. It is during Lent, when Christians observe a fast by giving up what they may conside luxuries or indulgences and dedicate themselves to prayer and spiritual growth. It is also seen as a time of self-discipline, as well as a way to become more in tune with God.
And while it is not a religious holiday for me, during this time of the year while waiting for winter to become spring, I see it as an opportunity to reflect on my spiritual journey and commit to practices that help me grow in love, compassion, and awareness. And in order for me to embrace a new thought and way of being, I am called to consider what I must release and surrender that I may be more fully present to myself, others, and the Divine.
This year, I felt called to give up something that is often unconscious but not always: criticism and complaint. I realize that whenever I complain about the irritations of my life, whether they are people or situations, I am actually “casting pearls before swine,” as the saying goes. In other words, I am wasting my precious energy and attention on something that does not deserve it, and I am missing the gifts that these irritations bring with them.
It has been said that, “Every adversity carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” I believe that this is true for every irritation as well. Whenever I am annoyed, frustrated, or angry at someone or something, it is because I am seeing only a surface level of reality. I am reacting to a story that I have created in my mind, based on my past experiences, fears, and desires. I am not seeing the whole picture, which includes the hidden blessings and opportunities that are waiting to be discovered. The grit of my adversity is the seed of the pearl that I am to become, if I allow it.
This year, I want to train myself to see beyond the surface level of my irritations and embrace the gifts that they bring with them. I want to cultivate the habit of gratitude and curiosity, even when things are not going according to my plans or expectations. I want to practice empathy and understanding, even when I disagree with someone or feel hurt by their words or actions. I want to remember that every irritation is an invitation to grow, to learn, to forgive, and to love, even when these invitations are wrapped in sandpaper.
It is my intention, instead of complaining or criticizing, to pause and ask myself what the irritation is trying to teach me. What beliefs or patterns of behavior are being challenged, and how can I learn and grow from this experience?
Of course, this is easier said than done, I didn't even make it through the first day of Lent, not even that morning, before I forgot my intention. Ernest Holmes reminds us:
"We do not change all of the patterns of our thoughts in a moment. Rather, it takes place little by little, until gradually the old thought patterns become transformed into new ones by some inner alchemy of the mind." – Ernest Holmes
It takes time, patience, and commitment to change our habits of thought and speech. It takes courage to face our shadows and fears, and to acknowledge our role in creating our own reality. It takes humility to ask for help, to seek guidance and support from others who share our vision and values. We can transform ourselves and our world, one irritation at a time.
As I embark on this Lenten season (again), I renew my intention to release the habit of criticism and complaint. Instead, I choose to embrace the gifts of irritation, knowing that they have the potential to lead me to be and reveal the Pearl of Great Price that I am created and called to be.