From Self-Compassion to Loving the World
The Awakened Heart Loving Out Loud
Teresa woke up, exhausted from crying herself to sleep. She dreaded looking in the mirror and seeing her puffy eyes. Her inner critic's voice was loud: "You're so pathetic. Pull yourself together."
But this time, instead of spiraling into shame, she whispered to herself, "It's okay to feel this way. May I be kind to myself." In that moment of self-compassion, her heart opened a little more.
We all have days when we need compassion most of all from ourselves. By nurturing this inner garden, we cultivate reserves of love to then extend to others.
Nurturing Self-Compassion
"We can't give what we don't have." This adage reminds us that to share compassion, we must first cultivate it within. Self-compassion builds our inner reserves of care to then radiate outwards. It's the fertile soil from which the seed of compassion can sprout.
Tending this inner garden is a patient practice. It is not always easy, Tara Brach writes, “Awakening self-compassion is often the greatest challenge people face on the spiritual path.”
Slowly, we till the soil of our hearts, softening and breaking up areas hardened by self-judgment. We plant seeds of self-kindness, watering them each day with small acts of self-care. It can include making time for hobbies, journaling, or savoring a warm cup of tea.
When Sam started painting on weekends, he was surprised how it unlocked something inside. "It's become a meditative space," he said, "where I can express myself without judgment."
As the blossoms of self-compassion grow, their fragrance infuses our lives. This inner shift ripples outwards. As Louise Hay said, "You've been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens."
Moving Beyond Self-Judgment
Does self-judgment serve us? Studies have shown some of the benefits of self-compassion such as, reduced anxiety and depression, greater motivation and joy. Ruth Fishel describes it: "It is a beautiful experience being with ourselves at a level of complete acceptance...When that begins to happen, when you give up resistance and needing to be perfect, a peace will come over you as you have never known."
For years, my inner critic blocked me from my own self-compassion. I understand now that feeling unworthy, how could I extend compassion to others? Self-acceptance opens the door for us to see in new ways, where before I had seen flaws, I am now able to see them as part of our shared human experience.
Recognizing Our Shared Humanity
As we nurture self-compassion's blossoms, we cultivate insight into our shared human garden. When we water our inner world with patience and care, we see our common soil.
Self-judgment and criticism builds walls around our vulnerability, keeping our suffering out of view. It close our eyes from being able to see in others what we are not willing to accept in ourselves. Self-compassion opens the gate, helping us witness and recognize our shared needs, desires, flaws and wounds.
By embracing the all-ness of who we are, we see behind the masks, embracing our universal need for belonging. We begin to understand that each harsh word or cold shoulder grows from unmet longing we too feel. And when self-care helps us grasp our own wholeness and gifts, we find resonance with this same essence found in all hearts.
Tending to ourselves with compassion reminds us of one basic truth - we all wish to love and be loved. To live without the grace we extend our own being is to walk alone. But caring for ourselves with intention and wisdom, we build bridges of empathy, crossing into new connections.
We will discover that we all feel occasional loneliness, even when surrounded by people. We all feel at times, fears of failure, of judgment, of the unknown. Desires to belong, and to be accepted as we are. Recognizing our shared humanity makes our own emotional challenges more bearable.
Embodying Compassion in Action
With hearts filled by self-love, we gain the insight and courage for compassionate action. While inner critics can block this flow. Meeting those voices with gentleness opens the floodgates.
We can start small:
Smiling at strangers
Writing encouraging notes to friends
Volunteering once a month
Each act of compassion to our self or others, touches us all deeply. And when we receive compassion during hard times, we feel less alone in our suffering.
As the Dalai Lama said, "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."
An Ongoing Journey of the Heart
Daily self-care fosters a heart ready to share love freely. Together, through our compassion, we illuminate the world.
Let's commit to this journey of the awakened heart - one gentle step at a time. Imagine people coming together, hands joined, hearts opening to each other. A tapestry of compassion that warms and connects humanity.
The journey begins within. What act of self-compassion will you take today?